Last night I sat in a Woman Within Open Circle and had a very interesting conversation with a woman afterwards. She had lost her phone and I noticed that several of us quickly jumped in to offer advice and suggestions on how she could either find the phone or deal with the fact that it was lost.
Having just come out of holding sacred space for each other, I noticed how different the energy was. I was able to take a little pause and create the space to ask her how she felt about not having her phone. Not how to fix it but what emotions were coming up for her. Very quickly she acknowledged that she felt out of control and disconnected from people. We were able to hold the space for her to feel that.
Here is what we did NOT do (but easily could have slipped into it):
- We did not jump in with our own stories, i.e. “OMG, one time I lost my phone and it was the worst!”
- We did not try to comfort her and minimize her feelings, i.e. “Don’t worry, I’m sure it will all be just fine!”
- We did not try to problem solve, i.e. “Have you tried to call it? When was the last time you saw it?”
- We did not make it worse, i.e. “I hope all your photos were backed up because if they aren’t you will have lost all those precious memories forever!”
Instead we were able to just be still and let her emotions be OK. For her to sink out of her head and settle into her body. It did not take long. Just a minute or two. I asked another question and was surprised by her response. I never cease to be amazed by the wisdom and answers we discover for ourselves when given the support to connect with them.
(My forehead looks greasy for some reason- I’m sure it’s the time of day! 😉 and I have a little cut on the bridge of my nose- who knows where that came from?! But this is me on a Thursday evening when I’ve spent the day by myself!!)